Give us a break!
Published
With May half term on the horizon, and the long summer holidays looming not so far behind, British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy counsellor Margaret Ward-Martin offers ideas on how to make the most of the ‘break’ for both parents and children.
‘For some the half term break means slower mornings, less pressure and marginally less chaos,’ says Margaret. ‘For others, it’s a time of increased stress, arranging safe childcare, finding money they don’t have and panicking at the hours to be filled when they’re running on empty.
‘It’s important to recognise the stress parenting can put on relationships, so work out your own strategy and agree a plan – one example might be to not to argue in front of the children then stick to it.’
If any or all of this resonates with you, here are some suggestions on how to manage the half term break:
Free stuff: The library is a great place to find out about free events and workshops for children in your local area. Local community hubs and religious/church organisations may signpost you to more help.
Meal deals: What’s not to love? Add a bus or train ride, a walk, a playground visit or soft play and you have a low-cost day out.
Honesty: Children often understand more than we credit them with. If money is tight, why not tell them in age-appropriate language how upset or frustrated you feel about not being able to give them what they want. Offer them an alternative you can manage – such as a movie night together.
If you are co-parenting, stressors may be amplified. It’s important to focus on your own wellbeing despite provocation, additional frustration and any emotional pain you may be feeling.
Get out: Just out – anywhere. We are less likely to blow a gasket in public. With an audience, we are more likely to behave ourselves. Simply moving around is also good for stress relief. Find a museum, park or shopping centre and just move. During half term, big shopping centres often provide children-friendly activities.
Work out what’s yours: When we have children we often think about how we were raised. You have the chance to make your child feel safe and loved and if this wasn’t your experience you may have work to do. Now’s that time.
Don’t take yourself too seriously: If the children are being particularly boisterous and kicking each other under the table or laughing so much that they break wind – join in (not the kicking part or even the wind bit!) Listen to them, have a laugh and let stuff go.
Ask for help: If you need support, ask. Talk to your health visitor or GP if you’re feeling isolated. Libraries are brilliant starting points; ask the nursery or school for activity camps or group outings they can recommend If you have family or friends, ask them for a couple of hours of help – just as long as that won’t make you feel even more stressed!
Visit www.bacp.co.uk
