From the moment babies learns to crawl, parenthood becomes a balancing act between protecting them and encouraging them to explore. One day you're celebrating their first steps. Before long, they're insisting on pouring their own drink, choosing their own outfit or proudly ordering an ice cream all by themselves.
These moments might seem small, but they are the building blocks of confidence, independence and resilience.
Josie Gibson was reminded of exactly that while working with TUI on the Childhood Independence Index, where she sat down with a group of children aged four to eight to hear, in their own words, what made them feel like ‘big kids’.The answers were as funny as they were insightful.
One little boy proudly explained that he doesn't spend his pocket money because he invests it in Premium Bonds instead. Another confidently announced that riding a horse made him feel grown up because ‘it doesn't even need fuel’. Others spoke about learning to swim, riding a bike, making new friends and ordering food for themselves.
While every answer was different, one message came through loud and clear: children love being trusted.
As a mum herself, Josie says those conversations really struck a chord. ‘It was amazing hearing how differently they all saw growing up,’ she says.
‘Some talked about riding a bike or ordering their own food, while others were just so proud that Mum or Dad trusted them to do something on their own.
‘It really reminded me that children don't need huge milestones to feel confident. Sometimes it's the little moments that mean the most.’
That reflects the findings of the Childhood Independence Index, which found that 41 per cent of children say being trusted by their parents is what makes them feel independent, while more than a third (36 per cent) say confidence is the biggest sign they're growing up.
For parents of babies, toddlers and young children, independence can sometimes feel like something that's years away. In reality, it begins much earlier than we often realise.
It starts with letting your toddler carry their own backpack, asking your preschooler to help put toys away, encouraging them to choose between two outfits, letting them order their own lunch or trusting them to introduce themselves to another child at the park.
None of these moments seem particularly significant on their own, but together they help children develop self-belief and resilience.
Of course, giving children that little bit more freedom isn't always easy. Many parents naturally worry about getting the balance right between keeping their child safe and encouraging them to become more independent.
The research found that parents experience a whole mix of emotions as their children grow, with feelings of pride sitting alongside nervousness and even sadness as they realise just how quickly childhood passes by.
But experts agree that confidence grows when children are given age-appropriate opportunities to try things for themselves, knowing that a trusted adult is there to support them if they need it.
Interestingly, holidays and half term breaks can provide the perfect setting for many of these moments. Away from the pressures of everyday routines, families often have more time to encourage children to take on little responsibilities, whether that's helping to pack a suitcase, trying unfamiliar foods or making friends with other children.
The Childhood Independence Index found that 58 per cent of parents feel more comfortable giving their children greater independence while on holiday, while nearly two-thirds (63 per cent) of children say they feel more independent when they're away from home.
It's also a time when many families naturally relax the rules. More than three-quarters of parents admit to easing everyday routines on holiday, creating more opportunities for children to build confidence in a safe and supported environment.
To encourage families to celebrate these milestones, TUI has created its My Holiday Firsts Passport, helping children record those memorable moments – whether that's trying a new activity, making a new friend or ordering their own ice cream.
For Josie, the biggest takeaway from the experience wasn't about the funny answers – although there were plenty of those. It was seeing just how much confidence children gain when they're trusted to have a go.
‘Watching the children talk so proudly about the things they'd achieved really reminded me that independence isn't one big leap,’ she says.
‘It's built through lots of little moments. As parents, we all want to protect our children, but sometimes the best thing we can do is take a small step back, let them have a go and celebrate those little wins with them.’
When it comes to raising confident children, it's often the smallest adventures that leave the biggest impression.
To see the focus video go to https://drive.google.com/file/d/15QBpHhah7WRIxkul33ZDVLKxMqm4NGYq/view
About Josie Gibson
Josie is a TV presenter and mum to her son, Reggie. She recently joined forces with TUI to explore the childhood milestones that help build confidence, independence and trust. As part of the campaign, Josie hosted a focus group with children aged four to eight, hearing firsthand what makes them feel like ‘big kids’ and reflecting on those moments through her own experiences as a parent.
