Lifestyle

Make parental leave work for you

A new addition to the family is an incredibly exciting time, and work rightly takes a back seat. But this sometimes means we muddle through parental leave and don’t make the most of this most precious stage in our parenting journey. Catherine Oliver, author of Working Parents-to-be shares some helpful tips to make it a positive experience for all.

Published

Taking a period of extended leave from work when you’re having a child can be both exciting and daunting. You might get as far as a handover plan, but not give it much further thought until you’re actually on leave. Your confidence may have dipped or you may be wondering how you’re going to fit everything in. There are some simple steps you can take that might make all the difference.

First and foremost, think of parental leave in the same way you would any other project you might work on. Create a plan and break it into steps: starting with before you begin your leave, all the way through to your return. You can adjust it as you go, but the most important thing is creating a plan that works for you, your family, your work role and your employer. Just like every pregnancy, every parental leave is different.

... consider the contact with work that you do (and don’t want) while you’re away and share your preferences.

Before you go on parental leave

There’s a lot you can do before you start your leave that will pay dividends later. For example, consider the contact with work that you do (and don’t want) while you’re away and share your preferences. A great way to think about this is using the lens of what, when and how: what you want to keep in touch about ( team social news, updates on clients / projects / business priorities or changes etc); when you want to hear about them (such as only social stuff in the first three months and everything in the last couple of months before you return); how you want to be kept in touch (via a friend on the team, or your manager, by email or face-to-face etc).

There are some conversations that are much easier to have before you start your leave: such as your possible options for changing your work arrangements. Talking to your manager about this before you go when there is no pressure on either side can give you both really useful ideas to think through before you have to talk about it properly.

It can also be helpful to think about whether you’d like to make use of KIT days (Keeping In Touch days). Discuss this option with your manager so they have you in mind in the months before your return and can invite you to come along when you can.

While you’re away

Whatever you decide about contact, keeping in touch in some way while you’re on leave will make it much easier when it comes to working out your return plan. This includes key issues such as agreeing your return date, making any changes to your working arrangement and how you use KIT days and any accrued annual leave.

Your return date may seem straightforward, but if you want it to be any different to 52 weeks you need to agree this eight weeks before you go back. And if you want to change your working pattern, it’s a really good idea to open those conversations well ahead of this. Give yourself – and your employer – plenty of time. You want to be able to discuss options so that you can come up with an arrangement that’s going to work for you both.

When it comes to the return itself, think about whether ‘ramping up’ with a few days a week to kick off with might work better than switching overnight from full-time parent to full-on working parent. KIT days and accrued leave are great tools to use to help make this happen.

When you return to work

It takes time to adjust to being a working parent: not just for you, but for your child, the rest of your family and your employer too. You’re not a new starter, but you’ve not just been away on holiday either. So, be kind to yourself. At work, try to use the ‘golden time’ in your first few weeks back to focus on how best to get back up to speed. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. You will need time and space getting to know new faces, catching up with the old ones, getting clear on the priorities of your team and what these mean for you. Avoid big new projects if you possibly can.

On the home front, make sure you’re ready for the inevitable hiccups with childcare (they will happen, so try to have a plan B ready if you can) and have some conversations around rebalancing the workload at home. It’s all too easy for a parent on leave who has taken on responsibility for everything from shopping and cooking to washing and cleaning to keep doing these when they go back – and then wondering why they are burning out! It’s a big adjustment for everyone, especially if your family has two working parents.

Establish who will be doing not just pick-up and drop-off and chores, but bath time, and story time and so on too.

Perhaps the best advice of all, whether at work or at home, is to keep talking. Don’t give little niggles a chance to become bigger issues and share your experiences with other parents who are facing the same challenges – it can make all the difference!

Catherine Oliver is a diversity and inclusion advisor who specialises in supporting working parents. Her new book Working Parents-to-be is a step-by-step guide to parental leave and return. It’s designed to help new or soon-to-be parents and managers to recognise the challenges of becoming a working parent and create a personalised plan to overcome them. It’s available from Amazon, price £13.85 paperback, and good bookstores.

Visit www.amazon.co.uk

Travel Special

Survive the journey

As most parents will testify, your issues are far from over once you’re all strapped in an…

Learning

How to survive home schooling and make it fun

With schools out for the foreseeable future, parents all over the country are at home with…

Health

Crisis at Christmas!

Accidents do happen, even at the best of times. Check out our practical advice and stop a …